I have always been a seeker of happiness. Probably because I always felt that there was room for more.
My first encounter with depression was during my freshman year of college. Leaving the world that I had known for 18 years of my life and starting anew on an unknown campus was exciting, yet daunting, to say the least. Where in high school, I had grown up with the same friends since elementary school; I had no problem with having real, meaningful connections. However, in college, it was a different story. Social life seemed to revolve around two interests: drinking and smoking. Not the best atmosphere to make deep connections. Ironically, with so many people around me all the time, I had never felt lonelier.
As the months passed by, my condition continued to worsen. It felt as though I was free falling into an endless abyss of nothingness. I no longer wanted to go to class (I attended film school, so classes were relatively fun). I no longer wanted to socialize. I no longer wanted to surf. The things that I found most interesting, no longer interested me anymore. I isolated myself from my friends, family, and the world. I stayed in my room. At the time, I wasn't aware that I was depressed. I didn't even know what depression was.
The next two years would be the darkest times of my life, at one point attempting to cut it short. It was at this moment, that first gasp of air, when I was reborn. I was given a second chance, a new chance at life. I knew right then and there that I had much growing up to do, and that I would need help. Asking for help was, by far, the hardest thing for me to do since it meant that I had to confront my dark secret, the entity that had troubled me for what seemed like an eternity. I gathered what little renewed hope that I had and finally sought help from a therapist. Since then, I have found the strength and courage to come to terms with my depression and to help those who are suffering from this mental anguish. I am proud to say that, at this point in my life, I am the happiest that I have ever been.